Breaking *Good*

I know I’m far from alone in finding it difficult to cope when there’s too much on my plate, and recently I’ve been struggling a lot. However – and God bless the NHS – I’ve been able to see my counsellor again, and as before, she seems to be something of a miracle worker! Of course she doesn’t give me all the answers, but she asks questions in such a way that I see answers for myself, or makes suggestions of things which might work, and helps me to figure out what might be best for me.

This week, the main focus of our session was how to cope with feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been in a cycle of feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, being paralysed by indecision and doing nothing, so feeling more overwhelmed and hopeless, with even more to do. Somewhat counter-intuitively, the solution to this seems to be to take regular breaks! I know – I wasn’t at all convinced either, but at least for the few days that I’ve been trying it, it’s working well for me. I do a block of work – usually around an hour of something focussed – then take a short break and relax properly.

Taking this approach has been incredibly helpful, as it’s taken the guilt off the time when I’m not working, and that means I’m able to approach work in a much more positive way. In just a couple of days I’ve regained control of my inbox, dealt with a few emails which have been waiting a few months for a response, and caught up on all sorts of bits of admin. There are of course still plenty more things which need doing, and lots of room for improvement in various ways, but I’m so relieved to have broken the cycle of guilt.

It’s not just at work that it’s been difficult to manage; I’ve done the bare minimum of housework for the past while too – and it’s debatable whether I’ve even reached minimum standards. However, yesterday Mr B did a lot of tidying up while I was at work, so rather than just collapsing on the settee when I got in, I pottered through the things he asked me to sort out. And since the house looks so much nicer as a result of all his work, I actually wanted to do the bits he’d left for me, both in appreciation of his efforts and for my own benefit and enjoyment of a tidy, calm and peaceful environment. The fact that I need the table to be clear so I have space to assemble my valentine’s book nook was absolutely NOT a factor, honest!

I suppose the importance of taking breaks and having things to look forward to throughout the day shouldn't be a surprise, given how much we all know that taking days off and holidays is so important for both mental and physical health. As well as trying this new approach at work, I've also booked a day off to see my best friend, and a week off so DH and I can go away for a few days before Easter. Knowing that I have these to look forward to made a huge difference, even before any definite plans were made! And now I have the fun of thinking about what we might like to do, and how we might want to spend our time together. Lots of fun anticipation.

So that’s my main learning point this week – being intentional about breaks makes it easier to be intentional and focussed about working too. Both five-minute put-the-kettle-on-and-watch-birds-in-the-garden and five-days-let's-go-somewhere are essential parts of my work-life balance, so that both work and life beyond the office are enjoyable and rewarding.