New year, same old me

I don't make new year's resolutions - I'm not sure I ever have, really, but over the past decade or two it's become more and more of a deliberate choice. I think for me, it's becuase new year's resolutions feel almost destined to fail - that's why so many of us make the same ones year in, year out. But at the same time, there is a certain 'fresh start'-ness about the beginning of January, when we try to remember to write the correct year every time, replace our kitchen calendars, and come to terms with the fact that the calendar seems to have moved on far more numbers than it should have done (it's surely not just me that thinks 2010 was about 5 years ago?).

Nowadays I'm also very aware that my health is somewhat precarious, so don't want to set myself targets for the year; 'survive' just feels a bit bleak, but anything more ambitious is quite probably beyond my control. So I continue, just doing the best I can to live my best life.

Of course, part of this is based around earning badges! I still haven't earned five of the original 10 badges I bought; Mindfulness, Stargazer, Buddy, Board Games and Photographer remain in their safe place, waiting to be awarded their space on my blanket. Maybe this year will be their year... And of course I've also started about a dozen other badges which are at various stages of progress, so I want to try and get as many finished as I can - preferably before starting any more (yeah, right). There may well be some photos of various baked goods appearing here in the coming months, as well as the regular book reviews, cancer whinges, and random witterings.

I'm also keen to get back into a kayak. For various reasons I didn't get to go paddling at all in December, and November feels a very long time ago now. Hopefully the river will settle down enough soon that sessions can restart and I can get back to it. I love winter paddling just as much as summer paddling - all the different seasons and moods of the river have their own beauty. The important thing is just to be out there on the water, whatever the weather.

And of course, the thread running through everything is self-care. I know I need to make sure I actively include this. My lovely bedtime routine which worked so beautifully last summer has completely fallen by the wayside, so I need to get that back into place. I'm managing to make time to knit, to read, and even to bake occasionally, but am definitely struggling (and failing) to find the balance between doing All The Things and getting the rest I need in order to function properly.

So it's not a resolution, but maybe a hope. I hope that this year I will find that elusive balance so that I can still do the things I want to do, but in a sustainable way. I hope that my cancer treatment continues to work as well as it has for the past 16 months. I hope that I get to have more fun new experiences this year, and to enjoy spending precious time with my family and friends. And I hope that your wishes, hopes, and aspirations for the new year come to joyful fruition.